Salams/peace guys and gals,
Russell thank you for posting about Gaza, it's really important that we keep it on our minds and spread the word about this atrocious massacre.
A couple things we all NEED to do:
1) Keep Palestinians and all of the oppressed people of the world in our prayers; pray that the oppressors are righted in their wrong, and that we are among those who relieve the oppressed, and never those who remain silent in the face of injustice.
2) Spread the word amongst your family and friends.
3) Hop on to whatever local efforts are being carried out. Hit up the nearest SJP, MSA, or whatever it may be.
4) Send a letter to our local representatives here. Call them at 202-224-3121. We can also find contact info for our Members of Congress by clicking here.
5) This one is from muslamics.blogspot.com: Send a letter to your local newspaper - click here for media contacts. Don't forget your first & last name,phone number, and the city & state you live in if you want your letter published.
And now, Senator Cynthia McKinney...
______________________________________________
December 30, 2008: Oh What a Day! -from Cynthia McKinney
I'm so glad that my father told me to buy a special notebook and to write everything down because that's exactly what I did.
When we left from Cyprus, one reporter asked me "are you afraid?" And I had to respond that Malcolm X wasn't afraid; Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. wasn't afraid. But little did I know that just a few hours later, I would be recollecting my life and mentally preparing myself for death.
When we left Cyprus, the Mediterranean was beautiful. I remember the time when it might have been beautiful to look at, but it was also filthy. The Europeans have taken great strides to clean it up and yesterday, it was beautiful. And the way the sunlight hit the sea, I remember thinking to myself that's why they call it azure. It was the most beautiful blue.
But sometimes it was rough, and we got behind on our schedule. We stayed on course, however, despite the roughness of the water and due to our exquisite captain.
There were no other ships or boats around us and night descended upon us all rather quickly. It was the darkest black and suddenly, out of nowhere, came searchlights disturbing our peace. The searchlights stayed with us for about half an hour or so. We knew they were Israeli ships. Who else would they be?
They were fast, and they would come close and then drop back. And then, they'd come close again. And then, all of a sudden there was complete blackness once again and all seemed right. The cat and mouse game went on for at least one half hour. What were they doing? And why?
Calm again. Black sky, black sea. Peace. And then, at that very moment, when all seemed right, out of nowhere we were rammed and rammed again and rammed again the last one throwing me off the couch, sending all our food up in the air; and all the plastic bags and tubs--evidence of sea sicknesses among the crew and passengers--flew all over the cabin and all over us. We'd been rammed by the Israelis. How did we know? Because they called us on the phone afterwards to tell us that we were engaging in subversive, terroristic activity. And if that if we didn't turn around right then and return to Larnaca, Cyprus, we would be fired upon. We quickly grabbed our lifevests and put them on. Then the captain announced that the boat was taking on water. We might have to evacuate. One of my mates told me to prepare to die. And I reflected that I have lived a good and full life. I have tasted freedom and know what it is. I was right with myself and my decision to join the Free Gaza movement.
I remembered my father's parting words, "You all will be sitting ducks." Just like the U.S.S. Liberty. We were engaged in peaceful activity, a harmless pleasure boat, carrying a load of hospital supplies for the people of Gaza, who, too are sitting ducks, currently being bombarded in aerial assault by the Israeli military.
It's been a long day for us. The captain was outstanding. Throughout it all, he remained stoic and calm, effective in every way. I didn't know how to put my life jacket on. One of the passengers kindly assisted me. Another of the passengers pointed out that the Israeli motors for those huge, fast boats was U.S. made--a gift to them from the U.S. And now they were using those motors to damage a pleasure boat outfitted with three tons of hospital supplies, one pediatrician, and two surgeons.
I have called for President-elect Obama to say something. The Palestinian people in the Gaza strip are seeing the worst violence in 60 years, it is being reported. To date, President-elect Obama has remained silent. The Israelis are using weapons supplied to them by the U.S. government. Strict enforcement of U.S. law would require the cessation of all weapons transfers to Israel. Adherence to international law would require the same. As we are about to celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday, let us remember that he said:
1. The United States is the greatest purveyor of violence in the world, and
2. Our lives begin to end the day we remain silent about things that matter.
I implore the President-elect to not send Congress a budget that contains more weapons for Israel. We have so much more to offer. And I implore the Congress to vote "no" on any budget and appropriation bills that provide more weapons transfers, period.
Israel is able to carry out these intense military maneuvers because taxpayers in the U.S. give their hard-earned money to our Representatives in Congress and our Congress chooses to spend that money in this way. Let's stop it and stop it now. There's been too much blood shed. And while we still walk among the living, let us not remain silent about the things that matter.
We really can promote peace and have it if we demand it of our leaders.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Anna Baltzer on the Gaza Massacres
Please, everyone, stop what you're doing. This is not just any reportfrom Palestine, but the worst in my lifetime, the worst in 40 years.At this moment, Israel is raining bombs down on Gaza, an enclosed tinyarea that is home to 1.5 million men, women, and children, most ofthem innocent civilians. This space is tightly sealed by Israel, whichconstantly denies Gazans electricity, food, medicine, and the abilityto leave. Gaza is one big prison being bombed from above. The deathtoll is up to 428 in the past 7 days. That's more than the number ofIsraelis killed in the last 7 years. This is what I would call a massacre.
Yes, more Palestinians killed in 7 days than Israelis in 7 years, andyet no comments from President Bush or President-elect Obama.Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice places blame solely on Hamas forholding Gazans "hostage," as if Israel's actions were beyond judgment.Would Rice ever respond to a Palestinian attack on Israelis by blamingthe Israeli government for holding its citizens hostage with theirarmy's violence?
I am writing you from Jordan. I arrived the day after the attacksbegan. The day before they began, my friend and colleague Hannah hadasked me to deliver a book of poetry to her friend Summer in Gaza,hoping I'd manage to make it on a Free Gaza boat. Since then, theseboats bringing unarmed witnesses to Gaza (www.freegaza.org) have beenattacked in international waters, and Summer's house has been blown topieces, her brother almost died under the rubble, and her fatherdesperately needs an operation but the hospitals are overflowing. Inevery home or shop I enter in Jordan, people are huddled watching thestories unfold: a family killed in their home, a university destroyed,a pharmacy blown to pieces, countless bloody babies screaming orworse, silent.
I wonder if people in the US are also seeing the bodies and faces or,as I fear, only some rubble and angry Gazans. The day after attacksbegan, Israel's largest newspaper Yediot Aharonot covered almost theentire front page with the words, "500,000 Israelis Under Attack!" Insmaller font, one could learn that in addition to 1 Israeli, 225Palestinians had also been killed. It was surreal. Consider where youare getting your news, and what is not being told to you.
For example, the stated purpose of the attack is to drive out Hamas,i.e. to kill anyone in Hamas and scare the rest into turning againstHamas. Not only does this tactic not work (brutality fostersviolence), but it clearly fits the definition of terrorism: unlawfulviolence intended to frighten or coerce a people or government inorder to achieve a political or ideological agenda. Israel isoperating as a terrorist state in the true sense of the word.
Hamas is also a terrorist organization by this definition, so it wouldbe easy to simplify the conflict as "an endless cycle of violence"were there no historical context. But there is a context, and thereare alternatives: Let us remember that Hamas was elected after anintentional shift away from violence towards a mainstream politicalagenda. Hamas stopped its attacks and began offering the Palestinianpeople an alternative to the corruption of Fatah. Hamas wasdemocratically elected and immediately strangled by a US-led boycott,preventing the government from functioning. Hamas continued to hold toits one-sided ceasefire (totaling almost 2 years), meanwhile the USand Israel began to train and arm the opposition government, Fatah,which they preferred. In response to plans for a coup in Gaza(anti-democratic takeover by the US-supported opposition government),Hamas secured its control (again, democratically-elected whether ornot we like them) over Gaza, and continues to offer Israel anindefinite ceasefire--no more violent attacks, period--if Israelsimply complies with international law. The Arab League (comprised of22 Arab nation members) has offered the same. These offers aredismissed by Israel and silenced in the US media. Israel says it hastried everything else, but it has not tried the most obvious:complying with international law and accepting repeated offers for apeaceful resolution.
As events unfold in Gaza neither the media nor the people are silenthere in Jordan, where people refuse to go on as if nothing werehappening to their brothers and sisters (sometimes literally--morethan 60% of Jordan's population is Palestinian refugees). Just one dayafter attacks began, the king of Jordan gave blood to send to Gaza andinspired hundreds of others to do the same (meanwhile President Bushwas on vacation in Texas). Spontaneous demonstrations have erupted atleast twice here in the capitol today, and thousands are protesting invarious major cities around the Middle East and around the world.
Please, wherever you are, do something. Write a letter to the editor.Get a large group to inundate your congressperson at once. Protest!There are demonstrations being organized around the US. If there isn'tone happening near you, then do what I would do: buy a poster-boardand large marker and write something on it ("Gazans Are People Too,""Massacre in Gaza: Silence is Complicity," "Our Weapons Are KillingPalestinian Children," or anything you can think of). Go outside andstand on a busy corner with it. Force others to confront the reality.Talk to people, invite them to join you. People around the world areempowered enough to take to the streets; we have no excuse not to. Thetime is now.
Yes, more Palestinians killed in 7 days than Israelis in 7 years, andyet no comments from President Bush or President-elect Obama.Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice places blame solely on Hamas forholding Gazans "hostage," as if Israel's actions were beyond judgment.Would Rice ever respond to a Palestinian attack on Israelis by blamingthe Israeli government for holding its citizens hostage with theirarmy's violence?
I am writing you from Jordan. I arrived the day after the attacksbegan. The day before they began, my friend and colleague Hannah hadasked me to deliver a book of poetry to her friend Summer in Gaza,hoping I'd manage to make it on a Free Gaza boat. Since then, theseboats bringing unarmed witnesses to Gaza (www.freegaza.org) have beenattacked in international waters, and Summer's house has been blown topieces, her brother almost died under the rubble, and her fatherdesperately needs an operation but the hospitals are overflowing. Inevery home or shop I enter in Jordan, people are huddled watching thestories unfold: a family killed in their home, a university destroyed,a pharmacy blown to pieces, countless bloody babies screaming orworse, silent.
I wonder if people in the US are also seeing the bodies and faces or,as I fear, only some rubble and angry Gazans. The day after attacksbegan, Israel's largest newspaper Yediot Aharonot covered almost theentire front page with the words, "500,000 Israelis Under Attack!" Insmaller font, one could learn that in addition to 1 Israeli, 225Palestinians had also been killed. It was surreal. Consider where youare getting your news, and what is not being told to you.
For example, the stated purpose of the attack is to drive out Hamas,i.e. to kill anyone in Hamas and scare the rest into turning againstHamas. Not only does this tactic not work (brutality fostersviolence), but it clearly fits the definition of terrorism: unlawfulviolence intended to frighten or coerce a people or government inorder to achieve a political or ideological agenda. Israel isoperating as a terrorist state in the true sense of the word.
Hamas is also a terrorist organization by this definition, so it wouldbe easy to simplify the conflict as "an endless cycle of violence"were there no historical context. But there is a context, and thereare alternatives: Let us remember that Hamas was elected after anintentional shift away from violence towards a mainstream politicalagenda. Hamas stopped its attacks and began offering the Palestinianpeople an alternative to the corruption of Fatah. Hamas wasdemocratically elected and immediately strangled by a US-led boycott,preventing the government from functioning. Hamas continued to hold toits one-sided ceasefire (totaling almost 2 years), meanwhile the USand Israel began to train and arm the opposition government, Fatah,which they preferred. In response to plans for a coup in Gaza(anti-democratic takeover by the US-supported opposition government),Hamas secured its control (again, democratically-elected whether ornot we like them) over Gaza, and continues to offer Israel anindefinite ceasefire--no more violent attacks, period--if Israelsimply complies with international law. The Arab League (comprised of22 Arab nation members) has offered the same. These offers aredismissed by Israel and silenced in the US media. Israel says it hastried everything else, but it has not tried the most obvious:complying with international law and accepting repeated offers for apeaceful resolution.
As events unfold in Gaza neither the media nor the people are silenthere in Jordan, where people refuse to go on as if nothing werehappening to their brothers and sisters (sometimes literally--morethan 60% of Jordan's population is Palestinian refugees). Just one dayafter attacks began, the king of Jordan gave blood to send to Gaza andinspired hundreds of others to do the same (meanwhile President Bushwas on vacation in Texas). Spontaneous demonstrations have erupted atleast twice here in the capitol today, and thousands are protesting invarious major cities around the Middle East and around the world.
Please, wherever you are, do something. Write a letter to the editor.Get a large group to inundate your congressperson at once. Protest!There are demonstrations being organized around the US. If there isn'tone happening near you, then do what I would do: buy a poster-boardand large marker and write something on it ("Gazans Are People Too,""Massacre in Gaza: Silence is Complicity," "Our Weapons Are KillingPalestinian Children," or anything you can think of). Go outside andstand on a busy corner with it. Force others to confront the reality.Talk to people, invite them to join you. People around the world areempowered enough to take to the streets; we have no excuse not to. Thetime is now.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
we are one because God is One
“I think Muslims need to start looking at themselves as Americans. We need to start seeing ourselves as Americans, and, oh look, we also just happen to be Muslim,” Mr. Doug Burpee said in response to a question about what Muslims can do in America to progress as a community.
So I asked myself, as a Muslim and an American: what does this accomplish? Mr. Burpee, a well-respected Muslim figure in the community, argued when various minority communities living in America hold on to their identity via a label, Muslim American, African American or Asian American, it creates divisions. So maybe it erases these lines that we create once we all just call ourselves Americans. Does it though?
I asked Mr. Burpee, “Well, why can’t we just call ourselves Muslims? I don’t believe in nationalism. I think the very fact that we call ourselves Americans creates divisions.” But that would never work, because as humans we enjoy categorizing ourselves and others. The labels of race, class and gender will never leave our vocabulary because our society inevitably, and perhaps necessarily creates them. But people have different definitions of what being an American is. Well, it's only natural because we all come from different experiences and thus, we have different perspectives and struggles.
But how often do our struggles, as Muslim Americans, cross over with African Americans, Latino Americans and Asian Americans? We are united by these struggles not because we are all Americans, but because we all face the same external circumstances that are an infliction upon our inalienable and unconditional rights as human beings.
There are many different types of Muslims all over the world. The only thing that has ever divided us as Muslims, or any community for that matter, is nationalism and race, both of which are man-made and artificial concepts.
Islam is unique because God creates us into different nations and tribes so that we may know one another. Of course, it is natural for each one of us to love where we came from. Oftentimes, when I hear those who subscribe to right-wing, neo-conservative ideology, they say “Oh they hate us, because they are jealous of OUR rights.” This sense of ownership over human rights is dangerous. The right to freedom of speech is not by any means exclusively American. It is an inalienable human right. I am blessed to live in a country that should allow me to exercise my unconditional freedoms as a human being. I don’t have to be proud of being an American to love America. I love America because I have family, friends and memories here. And the government should let me have the freedoms that the constitution sets forth. They are not exclusively American rights, they are human rights and I am proud that I can freely exercise them.
Now, I believe that Allah gave us these human rights in the form of Islam, and that is why I am Muslim. The nature of the Qur’an is one of justice and peace. God says in the Qur’an to “speak out against injustice, even if it may be against yourselves and your kin.” God mandates it upon us to speak out, thereby implying that humans have the freedom of speech.
The Constitution espouses many Islamic ideals and we, the people, reap the benefits of those ideals. The government is there to serve the people and we should not have to bow down to the government, thanking them for “giving” us “our” rights. God gave these rights to humanity and it is incumbent upon a leader and his/her people to understand and ensure that this notion is not forgotten.
As Muslims, it’s important to think of ourselves as part of a community, not just the Muslim or American community but the community of people of all religious and ethnic backgrounds. Once we mentally limit ourselves to the single label of “American”, we prioritize culture over religion, artificiality over reality and nationalistic sentiment over humanitarian goals. Nationalism breed patriotism, a sense of ownership over where one lives. Like I mentioned before, we don't own our origins or the land of our homes.
Moreover, these places do not single-handedly define who we are. Of course, growing up in America has shaped me into who I am today, but many other things did, as well. But these are origins, things we look back to and if we keep looking back to where we came from, we’ll never move forward and progress to who we can be. We have the freedom as human beings to change. God will never change a people until the people change themselves. We have to change this attitude of “I am American, hear me roar”. I am an American, I am an Egyptian and I am an Iranian, but I am first a human being. A respected scholar, Dr. Maher Hathout, once defined Islam as “the communication with the one unique God and the defense of human rights”. Because the elements of social justice and the preservation of freedoms are of utmost priority in Islam, I am a Muslim first and I am not afraid to call myself a Muslim. I am also responsible for alleviating misconceptions about Islam or any group of people for that matter, because it is my duty to humanity.
This doesn’t mean that I put Islam before America or that I am less patriotic than my neighbor. A government and its people serve each other. They give to one another, so long as the nature of that giving is constructive and positive. The government shouldn’t take from its people and vice versa.
Our way of life is that of a Muslim, and we just happen to live in America. And we are thankful to God that He has put us in a place where our freedoms have been preserved by our government. I am blessed to live here, but I will not forget that others across the world have these same rights taken away. And I will not judge others from the point of view of an American, but from the point of view of a human being and a Muslim. So, I guess I’m Muslim and I just happen to be American, too.
Make sense or do you think I'm creating more divisions?
So I asked myself, as a Muslim and an American: what does this accomplish? Mr. Burpee, a well-respected Muslim figure in the community, argued when various minority communities living in America hold on to their identity via a label, Muslim American, African American or Asian American, it creates divisions. So maybe it erases these lines that we create once we all just call ourselves Americans. Does it though?
I asked Mr. Burpee, “Well, why can’t we just call ourselves Muslims? I don’t believe in nationalism. I think the very fact that we call ourselves Americans creates divisions.” But that would never work, because as humans we enjoy categorizing ourselves and others. The labels of race, class and gender will never leave our vocabulary because our society inevitably, and perhaps necessarily creates them. But people have different definitions of what being an American is. Well, it's only natural because we all come from different experiences and thus, we have different perspectives and struggles.
But how often do our struggles, as Muslim Americans, cross over with African Americans, Latino Americans and Asian Americans? We are united by these struggles not because we are all Americans, but because we all face the same external circumstances that are an infliction upon our inalienable and unconditional rights as human beings.
There are many different types of Muslims all over the world. The only thing that has ever divided us as Muslims, or any community for that matter, is nationalism and race, both of which are man-made and artificial concepts.
Islam is unique because God creates us into different nations and tribes so that we may know one another. Of course, it is natural for each one of us to love where we came from. Oftentimes, when I hear those who subscribe to right-wing, neo-conservative ideology, they say “Oh they hate us, because they are jealous of OUR rights.” This sense of ownership over human rights is dangerous. The right to freedom of speech is not by any means exclusively American. It is an inalienable human right. I am blessed to live in a country that should allow me to exercise my unconditional freedoms as a human being. I don’t have to be proud of being an American to love America. I love America because I have family, friends and memories here. And the government should let me have the freedoms that the constitution sets forth. They are not exclusively American rights, they are human rights and I am proud that I can freely exercise them.
Now, I believe that Allah gave us these human rights in the form of Islam, and that is why I am Muslim. The nature of the Qur’an is one of justice and peace. God says in the Qur’an to “speak out against injustice, even if it may be against yourselves and your kin.” God mandates it upon us to speak out, thereby implying that humans have the freedom of speech.
The Constitution espouses many Islamic ideals and we, the people, reap the benefits of those ideals. The government is there to serve the people and we should not have to bow down to the government, thanking them for “giving” us “our” rights. God gave these rights to humanity and it is incumbent upon a leader and his/her people to understand and ensure that this notion is not forgotten.
As Muslims, it’s important to think of ourselves as part of a community, not just the Muslim or American community but the community of people of all religious and ethnic backgrounds. Once we mentally limit ourselves to the single label of “American”, we prioritize culture over religion, artificiality over reality and nationalistic sentiment over humanitarian goals. Nationalism breed patriotism, a sense of ownership over where one lives. Like I mentioned before, we don't own our origins or the land of our homes.
Moreover, these places do not single-handedly define who we are. Of course, growing up in America has shaped me into who I am today, but many other things did, as well. But these are origins, things we look back to and if we keep looking back to where we came from, we’ll never move forward and progress to who we can be. We have the freedom as human beings to change. God will never change a people until the people change themselves. We have to change this attitude of “I am American, hear me roar”. I am an American, I am an Egyptian and I am an Iranian, but I am first a human being. A respected scholar, Dr. Maher Hathout, once defined Islam as “the communication with the one unique God and the defense of human rights”. Because the elements of social justice and the preservation of freedoms are of utmost priority in Islam, I am a Muslim first and I am not afraid to call myself a Muslim. I am also responsible for alleviating misconceptions about Islam or any group of people for that matter, because it is my duty to humanity.
This doesn’t mean that I put Islam before America or that I am less patriotic than my neighbor. A government and its people serve each other. They give to one another, so long as the nature of that giving is constructive and positive. The government shouldn’t take from its people and vice versa.
Our way of life is that of a Muslim, and we just happen to live in America. And we are thankful to God that He has put us in a place where our freedoms have been preserved by our government. I am blessed to live here, but I will not forget that others across the world have these same rights taken away. And I will not judge others from the point of view of an American, but from the point of view of a human being and a Muslim. So, I guess I’m Muslim and I just happen to be American, too.
Make sense or do you think I'm creating more divisions?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Eid Mubarak!
Salams/peace ya'llsin. (don't ask i just like saying that word, online.)
I find this historical event SO beautiful:
My dad is going to go to some farm in Corona/Riverside/somewhere not in Orange County with his brother to sacrifice a goat. When the goat comes home, I leave, because I really don't like the smell of goat meat. My mom will then cook something fabulous while I enjoy some random food - I'm feeling Fish Grill.
I'm still waiting/wanting to reply my thoughts after reading Russell's post, but until then -
EID MUBARAK!
(pronounced eed mu-ba-ruk)
meaning Happy Eid!
What's EID
Muslims have two holidays - Eid ul-Fitr and Eid ul-Adha.
Eid ul-Fitr is a very happy day after the month of Ramadan where we praise God in a special prayer in the morning and meet and greet everyone in our community. After prayer, the food and social festivities began (heck yeah!). We celebrated Eid ul-Fitr back in October. Jesse, I am sure you can recall this - just think back to the free dinners MSU had during the month of Ramadan to break fast in the evening (lol).
Eid ul-Adha starts this Monday December 8th. In this three-day holiday, we celebrate and commemorate the day Abraham was asked by God to sacrifice what was most, most precious and dear to his heart in this world, his son Isaac. IMAGINE, after Abraham told Isaac about this, Isaac told him to go ahead and sacrifice him if this was God's will! And as difficult as it was for him, Abraham complied, and God the Most Merciful had Isaac replaced by a sheep and his son was safe and sound.
I find this historical event SO beautiful:1) What a test of faith - sacrificing what is most precious to you requires true and firm faith in God
2) God is SO MERCIFUL. He tested Abraham, and all He wanted to see is if Abraham would go through with it, and once He saw that he was willing to, he restored his son to him safely.
In commemoration of Abraham's sacrifice, Muslims are obligated to either sacrifice a sheep/goat/cow or donate money for poor people to do so. This process is called Qurbani (meaning sacrifice). We then distribute the meat amongst neighbors, the poor, and cook some for dinner.
BTW, Eid ul-Adha also goes hand-in-hand with Hajj, a trip to Mecca that every able-Muslim must perform in their lifetime. This year, 4 million people are performing Hajj - OH DANG! All those rows and rows of white things in the picture... yeah, that's people. This btw is the life-tranforming trip that Malcolm went on that caused him to realize that racial problems could be transcended.2) God is SO MERCIFUL. He tested Abraham, and all He wanted to see is if Abraham would go through with it, and once He saw that he was willing to, he restored his son to him safely.
In commemoration of Abraham's sacrifice, Muslims are obligated to either sacrifice a sheep/goat/cow or donate money for poor people to do so. This process is called Qurbani (meaning sacrifice). We then distribute the meat amongst neighbors, the poor, and cook some for dinner.
Now that you know what we're celebrating, here's...
How I'm gonna celebrate:
So, in the morning, I'm going to eat some special sweets that my mom prepares each Eid and then get ready for Eid prayer. My family and I will then go to the Anaheim Convention Center, one of the local places Eid prayer is held. I'll be wearing some shiny new clothes (and Pakistani clothes are literally shiny, too, LOL), will hear a short sermon about this special holiday, pray me some prayer, and then.... come to school to study for my final at 4pm!
My dad is going to go to some farm in Corona/Riverside/somewhere not in Orange County with his brother to sacrifice a goat. When the goat comes home, I leave, because I really don't like the smell of goat meat. My mom will then cook something fabulous while I enjoy some random food - I'm feeling Fish Grill. Now, as my friend put it, "it feels like finals are the grinch who stole Eid!" I'm hoping we don't let this happen and throw in lots of food-related adventures and random breaks for the sake of cele
Anyways, Eid Mubarak ya'll.
Peace, Love, and Light.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Reflections and Realizations Deux
I'm tired.
I really don't know what to do with myself right now and it's really bugging me. The combination of being sick for almost two weeks now and it being week 10 are pretty damn frustrating. Studying a week before my first finals seems fruitless and unmotivated, while staring at facebook chat windows only provides temporary relief.
I think that there's really just some serious growing pains that I'm going through, and everything else is a result of that. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty to be thankful for and plenty to appreciate... but the same main question keeps popping into my head and I can't answer it: "What am I doing and is it enough?"
I recently realized that throughout my entire life, I've only done enough of everything/anything to keep those evaluating me (parents, teachers, peers, professors, etc.) satisfied with what I was doing and what they asked of me. I found out early on that it would only take a minimal effort to not only please them, but actually convince them that I was doing an excellent job. The end result of this trend is that I don't know what it's like to try my hardest... on anything.
Now as the "real world" full of responsibility and accountability approaches, I have a lot to learn. It is a really scary situation because now the only person who evaluates my performance is me. I answer only to myself. So what am I doing and is it good enough? We'll see.
Every choice made is confronted with this question, and I have an opportunity to redefine what "enough" means for me, otherwise repeat 21-year-old habits.
I really don't know what to do with myself right now and it's really bugging me. The combination of being sick for almost two weeks now and it being week 10 are pretty damn frustrating. Studying a week before my first finals seems fruitless and unmotivated, while staring at facebook chat windows only provides temporary relief.
I think that there's really just some serious growing pains that I'm going through, and everything else is a result of that. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty to be thankful for and plenty to appreciate... but the same main question keeps popping into my head and I can't answer it: "What am I doing and is it enough?"
I recently realized that throughout my entire life, I've only done enough of everything/anything to keep those evaluating me (parents, teachers, peers, professors, etc.) satisfied with what I was doing and what they asked of me. I found out early on that it would only take a minimal effort to not only please them, but actually convince them that I was doing an excellent job. The end result of this trend is that I don't know what it's like to try my hardest... on anything.
Now as the "real world" full of responsibility and accountability approaches, I have a lot to learn. It is a really scary situation because now the only person who evaluates my performance is me. I answer only to myself. So what am I doing and is it good enough? We'll see.
Every choice made is confronted with this question, and I have an opportunity to redefine what "enough" means for me, otherwise repeat 21-year-old habits.
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